Emotional safety in a relationships is crucial for a healthy and thriving relationship. It involves creating an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or reprisal. Here are some tips to promote emotional safety in a marriage:
**Open Communication**: Encourage open and honest communication. Listen actively and try to understand your partner's perspective.
**Express Empathy**: Show empathy towards your partner's feelings and experiences. Validate their emotions, even if you may not fully understand them.
**Avoid Blame and Criticism**: Instead of blaming or criticizing, focus on expressing your feelings using "I" statements. For example, say "I feel hurt when..." rather than "You always..."
**Respect Boundaries**: Recognize and respect each other's boundaries. Understand what makes your partner feel comfortable and safe.
**Be Trustworthy**: Keep your promises and maintain trust. Honesty and reliability are key components of emotional safety.
**Avoid Gaslighting**: Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person tries to make the other doubt their own perceptions or reality. Avoid this behavior at all costs.
**Support Each Other**: Be there for each other during both good times and bad. Offer encouragement, comfort, and reassurance.
**Seek Professional Help if Needed**: If you're struggling to create emotional safety in your marriage, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships.
**Practice Self-Care**: Taking care of your own emotional well-being is crucial for creating a safe environment in the relationship. When you're feeling balanced, you're better equipped to support your partner.
**Celebrate Each Other's Successes**: Show appreciation and celebrate each other's achievements, no matter how big or small.
Remember that creating emotional safety is an ongoing process that requires effort from both partners. It's important to be patient and understanding with each other as you work towards building a stronger and more secure relationship.
This is a unique time where we get to witness their growth, support them, and build a strong bond that lasts a lifetime. Here are some tips to make this journey more fulfilling and successful....
1. Communication is key: keep the lines of communication open with your adult kids. Encourage them to share their thoughts, dreams and concerns. Be an active listener and encourager.
2. Respect their independence: Allow them to make their own decisions, even if they differ from your own. Respect their choices, and offer guidance only when asked, no one likes unsolicited advice. This will help them to develop confidence and learn from their experiences.
3. Maintain boundaries: It is important to maintain a close relationship, it is equally important to respect their personal space, privacy and individuality. Encourage them to pursue their own interests and goals.
4. Be a source of support: Life can be challenging, your adult kids will face obstacles along the way. Be their pillar of support offering encouragement and a listening ear, let them know you are always there when needed.
5. Foster mutual respect: Treat them as equals, acknowledging their opinions and perspectives. Show them the same respect you would expect from them.
6. Celebrate their achievements: Big or small show genuine pride and joy in their accomplishments. This will not only boost their confidence, it will let them know you are their biggest cheerleader.
7. Embrace change: As you kids grow, so will your relationship with them. Embrace the changes that come with adulthood and adapt your role accordingly. According to Jim Burns in his book, Doing Life With Your Adult Children"..the role you play in your children's lives must diminish in order for them to transition from adolescence to responsible adult". Be open to the new dynamics and cherish the evolving bond you share.
My wife and I try to make a point to take a trip at least two times a year with our kids. It is a great way to spend quality time with them. When they were teenagers we would take them to theme parks so we stand in line together (undivided attention) and face our fears together, great memories!
Doing life with your adult children is a journey. You have the opportunity to create a strong foundation for a lifelong relationship that brings you both joy and fulfillment. If you or anyone you know would benefit from help in navigating these transitions we would be happy to to be of assistance at Jaeger Counseling.
"Be nice to your adult children. They will most likely be the ones who someday take away your car keys and usher you into the convalescent care facility". Jim Burns. Doing Life With your Adult Children
Shame is real.
It impacts our thinking, our behaviors, and our relationships. It plays a significant role in addiction and compulsive behaviors with pornography, alcohol, drugs, depression, anxiety, ongoing anger, and other unwanted behavior in our lives.
Shame lies to us about our identity, who we are and who we are called to be.
We need to call out shame’s lies so we can truly find freedom from struggles.
Fear is the way our body responds emotionally to either a real or perceived immediate threat, flight or fight. Anxiety is our anticipation of an event in the future and may carry with it muscle tension or hyper-vigilance in preparation for potential danger. Worry is our thoughts about the future, including problems that can’t yet or might not even need solving. In sum, as humans, we desire and we strive to be in control of as much as we can, as often as we can. It is physiologically impossible for our brains to be both anxious/worried/afraid and relaxed (at peace) at the same time. As long as anxiety rules our thoughts and our emotions, we sacrifice our peace.
No question, we have a lot to worry about; relationships, children, jobs, homes, health, finances, and more. The solution isn’t to rid ourselves of the sources of anxiety, that is not realistic. Instead, we need to recognize where the worry and anxiety originates and learn the tools to find peace and joy.
Worried you are too different? Arguments wearing you down? With the right tools and support, you can turn your conflicts into a source of energy and excitement to renew your marriage.
If you are unhappy in your marriage you may think there are only two options:
1.Stay together and be miserable.
2. Get a divorce.
Here is a third option...
You can have a great marriage! If you ride out the “lows” and learn from them, the relationship can be strengthened. If your relationship is at a low point and you wonder what happened?!? Here is the good news... It’s not too late to revitalize your relationship! Your relationship can improve with time and few simple strategies. Learn how to Revive your marriage. More information HERE