Parenting Teens... What Not To Do

Parenting teenagers can be a challenging task, as they are going through a phase of rapid change and development. As parents, it can be tempting to resort to certain strategies that may seem effective in the short term, but can actually be counterproductive in the long run.


One ineffective strategy for parenting teens is using punishment as a primary form of discipline. While consequences for poor behavior are important, relying solely on punishment can create a negative and hostile environment in the home. This can lead to resentment and rebellion from the teenager, rather than fostering a positive and respectful relationship. Remember, the negative behavior you are seeing is often just a symptom of a deeper issue.


Another ineffective strategy is being too controlling and overbearing. While it is important to set boundaries and guidelines for your teenager, being overly strict and controlling can stifle their independence and autonomy. This can lead to feelings of resentment and a lack of trust between parent and child.


Avoiding difficult conversations and ignoring issues that arise can also be an ineffective parenting strategy. It is important to have open and honest communication with your teenager, even when discussing tough topics such as drugs, alcohol, and relationships. Ignoring these issues can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for guidance and support. Your child will open up to you to the degree that they trust you. Harsh responses or lectures will shut them down.


Overall, it is important for parents to find a balance between setting boundaries and fostering independence, while also maintaining open communication and a positive relationship with their teenager. By avoiding these ineffective strategies and instead focusing on positive reinforcement, communication, and mutual respect, parents can effectively navigate the challenges of parenting a teenager.


“Permission to the heart is earned. Always.” (John Lynch, The Cure and Parents)