Life With Your Adult Children

This is a unique time where we get to witness their growth, support them, and build a strong bond that lasts a lifetime. Here are some tips to make this journey more fulfilling and successful....

1. Communication is key: keep the lines of communication open with your adult kids. Encourage them to share their thoughts, dreams and concerns. Be an active listener and encourager.

2. Respect their independence: Allow them to make their own decisions, even if they differ from your own. Respect their choices, and offer guidance only when asked, no one likes unsolicited advice. This will help them to develop confidence and learn from their experiences.

3. Maintain boundaries: It is important to maintain a close relationship, it is equally important to respect their personal space, privacy and individuality. Encourage them to pursue their own interests and goals. 

4. Be a source of support: Life can be challenging, your adult kids will face obstacles along the way. Be their pillar of support offering encouragement and a listening ear, let them know you are always there when needed. 

5. Foster mutual respect: Treat them as equals, acknowledging their opinions and perspectives. Show them the same respect you would expect from them.

6. Celebrate their achievements: Big or small show genuine pride and joy in their accomplishments. This will not only boost their confidence, it will let them know you are their biggest cheerleader.

7. Embrace change: As you kids grow, so will your relationship with them. Embrace the changes that come with adulthood and adapt your role accordingly. According to Jim Burns in his book, Doing Life With Your Adult Children"..the role you play in your children's lives must diminish in order for them to transition from adolescence to responsible adult".  Be open to the new dynamics and cherish the evolving bond you share.

My wife and I try to make a point to take a trip at least two times a year with our kids. It is a great way to spend quality time with them. When they were teenagers we would take them to theme parks so we stand in line together (undivided attention) and face our fears together, great memories!

Doing life with your adult children is a journey. You have the opportunity to create a strong foundation for a lifelong relationship that brings you both joy and fulfillment.  If you or anyone you know would benefit from help in navigating these transitions we would be happy to to be of assistance at Jaeger Counseling. 


"Be nice to your adult children.  They will most likely be the ones who someday take away your car keys and usher you into the convalescent care facility". Jim Burns. ​Doing Life With your Adult Children